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Part 2&3  Misbehavior of children in public答案及解析_雅思口语练习「新东方雅思官方网校」

Some children are really well-behaved but others can be quite unruly. Generally, from my experience, I think most kids can be quite naughty at certain ages – maybe around the ages of 3 or 4 when they start developing their own minds and their own ideas and wants and needs. There was one incident which I saw in a restaurant a month or two ago, in Beijing, when there were two children, maybe around that age, who were running crazily around the restaurant making a lot of noise. It was really annoying, as we were having a nice family dinner and the restaurant was quite a quiet, respectable one, not a particularly busy local eatery, but quite a fancy restaurant. I was really annoyed by the noise because I am quite sensitive to noise, you see, and it was irritating me. My father was also quite angry with the whole thing, but didn’t say anything, at least at first. After a while, when the children did not stop running around, banging into tables, screaming and shouting, my father started to glance over at the adults on the table where the kids were meant to be seated, and the parents looked a bit embarrassed and tried to discipline the children, but didn’t have much success. Then they basically just gave up trying and continued chatting and drinking tea. My father got more annoyed and then walked over and had a word with the parents. I was really surprised because my father is normally not that confident, but this time he was furious. He controlled his temper quite well, though, and was firm, but polite. After that the family actually finished their meal pretty quickly and then left the restaurant. We then could eat in peace. To be honest, I felt that the restaurant staff should have made efforts to tell the family to control the kids, but they basically did nothing – they didn’t want to anger the family. Although, because they didn’t do anything everyone else in the restaurant had to suffer and effectively have their meals spoilt. I think this kind of situation is rather difficult, and it’s hard to know exactly what to do – whether to complain and risk some kind of confrontation with the parents, or whether to remain seated and endure the annoying noise of misbehaved children running amok and making trouble for other diners. I really wish some people would have more control of their children and discipline them better. I think it’s primarily the parent’s responsibility.

Children typically kick up a fuss and have tantrums when they can’t get what they want. Children’s priorities and perspectives are different to ours, and they get upset if, for example, they can’t have a certain snack or treat that they like, or watch a programme they want to watch, things like this. Some children have tantrums because they don’t want to get dressed and go to school. There are a lot of little things like this that kids go crazy about, that to us seem quite trivial or unimportant, but to them mean a lot – this is often why they misbehave. Children are also highly active, and so they want to run about a lot and not sit in one place like adults often do. Disciplining them to stay in one place and not run around and make a noise in restaurants or public places is also something that is quite common. 

Parents should be quite firm with children, in my opinion, and be very careful not to spoil them or let them always have what they want. If you let children have what they want every time they have a tantrum or make a scene, then they will become quite unruly and stubborn adults, who don’t respect others or think about other’s feelings. It’s important that parents discipline children in the right ways, and sometimes this is quite difficult as children can be quite challenging and also get really angry or upset if they do not get the snack they want, or watch the TV programme they want, and things like this. It’s not easy being a parent sometimes, and dealing with children as well as the everyday stresses and strains of daily life. There are loads of theories and books about good parenting and maybe it’s good to read one or two of these to get different professional perspectives on how to raise children and some of the key things you should and should not do if you want to raise children who are well-behaved, but still have their own minds. It’s neither good to be too soft or too strict. The balance is sometimes hard to achieve. And children vary in their personalities too, so this makes it even more challenging. By nature some kids are very placid, and others are highly active, opinionated and forceful. We have to adapt to the different personalities of our children and do what is best to raise them to become mature, responsible adults.

I think that parents are possibly softer today than they were in the past. I think in the past parents may have been too strict, but I’m not sure. I think it depends largely on the family, the attitude of the parents in question, and the culture, to some extent. It’s hard to say. I know parents in the past that would punish children by hitting them, whereas today this is not regarded as a very popular way of disciplining children. I’m not sure. I’d say it varies from family to family, but in general I think today people know more about child psychology and are perhaps better at understanding children, although I think some parents spoil children too much, which isn’t good for them either. 

