SECTION 3

TUTOR: Right, Sandra. You wanted to see me to get some feedback on your group's proposal.

导师：好的，桑德拉。你是想要我给你们组提案给一些反馈意见。

The one you're submitting for the Geography Society field trip competition.

就是你提交的那个地理协会野外考察比赛的参赛提案。

I've had a look through your proposal and I think it's a really good choice.

我已经看过了你的提案，我觉得选题很好。

In fact, I only have a few things to say about it, but even in an outline document like this you really have to be careful to avoid typos and problems with layout in the proposal, and even in the contents page.

我要说的就几点。首先，像这样的文件就算在提纲中也应该尽量避免拼写和格式错误，正文尤其更要注意。

So read it through carefully before submitting it, okay?

所以，在提交之前认真的读一遍，好吧？

SANDRA: Will do.

桑德拉：没问题。

TUTOR: And I've made a few notes on the proposal about things which could have been better sequenced.

导师：提案里面有些内容顺序可以安排得更合理一些，我在上面做了标注。

SANDRA: Okay.

桑德拉：好的。

TUTOR: As for the writing itself, I've annotated the proposal as and where I thought it could be improved.

导师：关于文章本身，我也在可以改进的地方做了批注。

Generally speaking, I feel you've often used complex structures and long sentences for the sake of it and as a consequence ... although your paragraphing and inclusion of sub-headings help ... it's quite hard to follow your train of thought at times.

整体而言我觉得你经常没有目的的使用复杂结构和长句。这样写的话……尽管你的分段和小标题做得很好……我还是很难跟上你的思路。

So cut them down a bit, can you?

所以还是删掉一些吧。

SANDRA: Really?

桑德拉：真的吗？

TUTOR: Yes. And don't forget simple formatting like numbering.

导师：是的。还有别忘了最基本的格式，比如编号。

SANDRA: Didn't I use page numbers?

桑德拉：我不是加了页码编号吗？

TUTOR: I didn't mean that.

导师：我说的不是这个。

Look, you've remembered to include headers and footers, which is good, but listing ideas clearly is important.

你看你页眉和页脚用得很好啊，但是更重要的是把观点列清楚。

Number them or use bullet points, which is even clearer.

在观点前面编号或打上小黑点会让他们更有条理。

Then you'll focus the reader on your main points.

这样就能让读者关注你的主要观点。

I thought your suggestion to go to the Navajo Tribal Park was a very good idea.

我觉得你提出的去纳瓦霍部落公园的建议很好。

SANDRA: I've always wanted to go there.

桑德拉：我一直都想去那儿。

My father was a great fan of cowboy films and the Wild West so I was subjected to seeing all the epics, many of which were shot there.

我的父亲是一个西部牛仔片迷，在他的影响下我也看了所有的经典电影，其中有很多都是在纳瓦霍公园拍的。

As a consequence, it feels very familiar to me and it's awesome both geographically and visually, so it's somewhere I've always wanted to visit.

所以这个地方对我来说十分熟悉。那里不仅适合地理考察，景色也十分壮观。我一直都想去看看。

The subsequent research I did and the online photographs made me even keener.

后来我做的一些调查还有网上的一些照片更是让我心心念念。

TUTOR: Interesting. Right, let's look at the content of your proposal now.

导师：有点儿意思。好的，我们来看看你提案的内容吧。

SANDRA: Did you find it comprehensive enough?

桑德拉：你觉得内容够全面吗？

TUTOR: Well, yes and no. You've listed several different topics on your contents page, but I'm not sure they're all relevant.

导师：这个……不好说。你的目录页列了好几个不同的话题，但我不确定它们是否都相关。

SANDRA: No? Well, I thought that from the perspective of a field trip, one thing I needed to focus on was the sandstone plateau and cliffs themselves.

桑德拉：是吗？我觉得从野外考察的角度来考虑，由砂岩构成的高地和断崖肯定是我要关注的。

The way they tower up from the flat landscape is just amazing.

它们就那么耸立在平原上，太不可思议了。

The fact that the surrounding softer rocks were eroded by wind and rain, leaving these huge outcrops high above the plain.

这实际上是由于那里较软的岩石被风和雨水侵蚀的结果。

It's hardly surprising that tourists flock to see the area.

难怪游客都蜂拥而至。

TUTOR: Well, yes, I'd agree with including those points ...

导师：好的，我同意加上这些内容……

SANDRA: And then the fact that it's been home to native American Navajos and all the social history that goes with that.

桑德拉：然后还有当地的美洲纳瓦霍人和他们族群的历史。

The hardships they endured trying to save their territory from the invading settlers.

以及他们面对殖民者的入侵努力保护自己的领土的艰苦历程。

Their culture is so rich - all those wonderful stories.

他们的文化太丰富了——那么多迷人的故事。

TUTOR: Well, I agree it's interesting, but it's not immediately relevant to your proposal, Sandra, so at this stage, I suggest you focus on other considerations.

导师：故事是不错，但和你的提案没什么直接关系啊。所以，桑德拉，在这个阶段我建议你还是别考虑这些内容了。

I think an indication of what the students on the trip could actually do when they get there should be far more central, so that certainly needs to be included and to be expanded upon.

我觉得更重要的内容是告诉学生在这趟旅行中他们能做什么以及能收获什么。这点肯定要加上，而且要展开写。

And I'd like to see something about the local wildlife, and vegetation too, not that l imagine there's much to see.

然后我觉得还可以写一写当地的野生动物和植被情况，尽管那儿可能没什么动植物可看的。

Presumably the tourist invasion hasn't helped.

我估计游客的到访并没有起到什么帮助。

SANDRA: Okay, I'll do some work on those two areas as well.

桑德拉：好的，我回去再把这些内容研究一下。

But you're right, there's not much apart from some very shallow-rooted species.

不过你说的没错，那个地区只有一些浅根的植物。

Although it's cold and snowy there in the winter, the earth is baked so hard in the summer sun that rainwater can't penetrate.

虽然那里冬季多雪寒冷，但夏天那里被太阳炙烤得太厉害，雨水根本渗不进土壤中。

So it's a case of flood or drought, really.

所以那里不是洪水就是干旱。

TUTOR: So, I understand. Now, before we look at everything in more detail, I've got a few factual questions for you.

导师：我知道。接下来在我们深入讨论细节之前，我有几个事实性的问题要问你。

It would be a good idea to include the answers in your finished proposal, because they're missing from your draft.

你可以把这些问题的答案放在你的提案终稿里去，你的草稿里没有这些内容。

SANDRA: Fine.

桑德拉：好的。

TUTOR: So, you mentioned the monoliths and the spires, which was good, but what area does the tribal park cover? Do you know?

导师：你提到了独块巨石和尖塔，这个不错。但是部落公园的面积是多大，你知道吗？ 你知道吗？

SANDRA: 12,000 hectares, and the plain is at about 5,850 metres above sea level.

桑德拉：公园占地1200公顷，高原平均海拔在5850米。

TUTOR: Larger than I expected. Okay. Where's the nearest accommodation?

导师：比我想象的要大一些。好的。那最近的住宿点在那儿呢？

That's a practical detail that you haven't included.

这是条很实用的信息，你没有提到。

Have you done any research on that?

有调查过吗？

SANDRA: Yes. There's nowhere to stay in the park itself, but there's an old trading post called Goulding quite near.

桑德拉：是的。在公园里面是没有地方住的，但是附近有一个叫古尔丁的商栈可以住。

All kinds of tours start from Goulding, too.

各种旅行也都是从这里出发的。

TUTOR: What kind of tours?

导师：什么样的旅行？

SANDRA: Well, the most popular are in four-wheel drive jeeps - but I wouldn't recommend hiring those.

桑德拉：最流行的是四轮驱动的吉普车，但我不建议租这个。

I think the best way to appreciate the area would be to hire horses instead and trek around on those.

我觉得欣赏这里的风光最佳的旅行方式是骑马。

Biking is not allowed and it's impossible to drive around the area in private vehicles.

那里不允许骑自行车，然后开私家车几乎是不可能的。

The tracks are too rough.

那儿的路太崎岖了。

TUTOR: Okay, lastly, what else is worth visiting there?

导师：好的。最后一个问题，那里还有什么值得看的？

SANDRA: There are several caves, but I haven't looked into any details.

桑德拉：那儿有几个洞穴，不过我还没查细节信息。

I'll find out about them.

我回去再找找。

TUTOR: Okay, good. Now what I'd like to know is ...

导师：好的。接下来我想知道的是……